by Esqxr

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inspired by Temptation


released February 14, 2013

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Esqxr Mississauga, Ontario

Suicide Capital

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Track Name: Autumn Serenade
how you doing today,
tell me what you did, you pursuing your fate?
Good. I’m alright I guess, I had a long day, kinda wired and stressed
but I would never tell you that part, because you work hard
and truthfully I feel subpar
But you acting like we happily married,
and you telling me you wanna carry
our love child, whenever, wherever
but I don’t really believe in forever
and you want it, trust untarnished
she told me that she'd never break a promise
the kinda girl that’d come honest
anything a man could ask for,
a wild cat when she in her black drawers
so what am I running off track for
lets fade to black. Fall.

/I spent a lotta nights there,
good weed, bad girls and light beer.

I was faded with the whole crew,
still wishing I had someone to go home to

Shooting models on a mattress, flashes
lace panties and strapless./

You lose some, you learn som’n,
a story of the unsung
I remember the nights I burned one, so I could get numb
and forget about my conundrum
you and I been together for a while
couple of years on our sundial
anniversaries and birthdays, heartbreaks and first base
thai buffet on our first date
and long distance relations need a lotta trust and patience
but I gotta be blatant, Im feeling trapped like I’m serving a statement
and I’m getting a little tired of waiting
For something to change, I’m going insane
stuck in a nightmare while you following dreams
still anticipating a twist like those Oliver scenes
but then again I guess love is never all that it seems and it

(feel like you felt this before
feel nice till they walking out the door)

Now I know that you happy where you are
so every time we talk I don’t wanna bring this up
but, we’ve spent too much time apart
and I know you wouldn't be able to handle breaking up
cause, you been hurt in the past,
with guys with they foot on the gas
who only wanted a piece of ass till
we met and I showed you some real shit
I told you I was a nigga you can build with
now I wish I didn’t cause you let me in
not knowing you invested in a thespian
I mean, yes..I did, love you once
but ever since then, everything’s been a front
and I can’t bring myself to tell you
cause hearing it would definitely kill you
and I don’t want that blood on my hands,
so I’m doing my song and dance
but it’s the winter of an Autumn romance.
Track Name: Deja Vu
Making my way across campus, rain got me feeling like Atlantis
drowning in lost thoughts, questions, descisions, answers I
really should take a hint from the mantis
If I did I might be able to better manage
my lonliness, sometimes I can barely stand it
feel like I need help from the dude at The Daily Planet
but it's Thursday afternoon, I left my class at noon
headed to lunch at the cafe, they had mad food
and good jazz tunes, I got a coffee with
just cream, my simplicity is obvious
the server was kinda cute, lipstick color was poppy-ish
but she's popular she'd probably check me on some hockey shit
besides, I have a project that I haven't started
soon as I finish gotta catch the bus to my apartment
I check the clock at the door every so often
until I realized, who had just walked in

(When I reminisce over you, these memories I'm going through
It kinda feel like Deja Vu and our time is overdue
and I'm not really over you, I guess my mind is tryna show and prove)

For a second I couldn't believe my eyes when she arrived,
biggest surprise, walahi
walked in and sat at one of the sofas at the back
I'm sitting, looking over and having a heart attack
what was she doing here? It can't be but I know it is
the same chick I spoke about on my older shit,
years ago, you know what the story is
we fell in love but it was over quick cause we couldn't co-exist
but man, g*ddamn she looks amazing
I wonder if she'll see me, I need to get adjacent
my heart is still racing, I wanna get her attention
maybe i'll say her name so she can look in my direction
but an hour goes by and I'm paralyzed
I told you guys I was terrified to stare into those pair of eyes
packs her bags and heads out the door
I gotta follow her what the hell am I waiting for..
Track Name: Metro
I figured it was probably just a matter of time before we crossed paths
I remember when I saw you a couple falls past
you look good, you matured fast
you still got them long legs, soft ass
my Mi Amor with them eyes like she grew up in Singapore
hair like a black sycamore
she was a leftie, sat in the next seat
reading Dostoyevsky with a nestea
sexy, it's kinda like how we first met
in front of the library on the third step
now we on the express, you looking best dressed
possessed by some "Crime and Punishment", I check breath
moving my eyes from your right to your left breast
I don't see a ring so I'm guessing that your ex left
you flip a page and ya name ricochets
off my tongue and you look up in a daze like..

complete disbelief, saw nothing but your teeth
as you made a leap and threw your arms around me
making a scene, everybody looking at us
she said 'lets leave we can walk and catch up'
so we left off the next stop,
I took her to this french pub it was the best spot
we got a table for two, good food a couple brews
and we spent the night talking bout the past, and about the blues
and time passed over wine glass,
divine chat, let me know where her mind was at
she had dreams similar to mine, sending me signals and signs
but they were the subliminal kind
she said 'I live around the way', I said 'I'll walk you there'
she got a place by the bay overlooking a pier
the student residence apartment, and what are the odds man
she at the same one I'm lodged in

so apparently she had moved in just a few weeks ago
and got a place on the top floor, I'm three below
she only here the summer season though
taking a couple of classes for the credit and then she's leaving yo
but she wanna see the city, so I'ma show her around
all of the places that I like to go down town
but not tonight cause I'm pretty fucking busy
and seeing you was enough I'm thinking fate is fucking with me
she laughed softly and said she would call me
'maybe after class we can stop and get coffee'
I'll be at home cause I got tomorrow off see
so when you're done I can meet you in the lobby
and we can pass time however you want to
paint the town redder than a telephone booth
took the elevator to my level, said the opposite of hello
then I got home and called my mellow
Track Name: She Wrote, Murder
this isn't our first tango in Paris, we've been here before
I used to watch you move you would leave me in awe
couldn't help but let you take the lead on the floor
freak it raw, backing me right against the wall
dark halter top, in a corner spot
the way we dancing together that's that lovers rock
hands all over your body like I'm a former cop
at this point, you probably don't even wanna stop
so, keep wineing it baby, keep grinding
I can't even front I love getting behind it
put my palms over where the sun don't be shining
and pull that moon closer got your body in alignment
they playing Chaka Demus and Pliers for our desire
I tell her baby work it like you applying for hire
cause you know, that ass is like whoa like Mya
she say, Yes sire, and pop it like gun fire

**Murder, she wrote. Murder, she wrote
you killing me baby the way you stop then you go
fast then slow, change up the tempo
you driving me mental when you push and bend low
hotter, hotter, hotter, our ritual get darker
definitely a spark, feel it in your heart chakra
and for the whole night I want ya
we gon play this game how much longer..(2)

Now wheel it back (selecta)
Rewind (selecta)
Come Now (selecta)

/frx it.

DJ, play me another medley cause shorty moving deadly
fingers on her stomach got a ruby piercing on her belly
hotter than California, lavender aroma
she keep going she gon put a nigga in a coma
the minutes diminish and the night's about to finish
our drinks should get replenished, 'fore we make the pilgrimage

Track Name: La Luna
Club nights always seem to be shorter than expected
lemme take you home girl these streets is kinda reckless
and dangerous,
everybody seems to be in a rush
and we probably gotta walk cause we missed the bus but,
a little trip wont injure us
and the moon is lit, right in the midst of us
it shouldn't take long, just hold on
I know you cold, here you go girl my coat's warm
and, my body's warmer but I don't wanna impose on
she said 'come up, got a fireplace and slow songs'
that's my kinda shit, you my kinda chick
let's make a detour at my crib cause I know you like to chronic hit
we can spend the night just talking bout philosophic shit
long as we're together it don't matter what the topic is


So invite
me to your queen size
we could just drift to D'Angelo's dream eyes
got you in my arms pressing up against your Levis
feel our body heat rise as we lie,
she cries..
Track Name: I.H.A.D.
I spent a lotta time thinking about the weekend
I got close enough to hear your heart beating
It's kinda hard, i'm tryna let my heart reason
balancing my feelings cause things fall apart frequent
and I don't know what we've started but that night is probably regarded
as the best that I've had, since we parted
I forgot how good you used to dance
getting fucked up, talking bout future plane
I close my eyes and I faded and to my amazement
found you on top of me stark naked
biting my neck saying 'slow pace it'
I grabbed her hips, twisted so she rotated
she bit her lips and glitched my whole matrix
I was so patient, she whispered 'baby go take it'
but then you disappeared, and I woke up to whispers in my ear
turned around and you were there saying

'I really don't know what we up to, but all I wanna do is love you,
soon as my eyes were shut boo, I had a dream about you'
and then I laughed and lit some mary jane
whats so funny I could hear her saying
passed it to her and said 'I ain't even playing
but when I closed my eyes girl I had the same
I had the same'
'I really don't know what we up to, but all I wanna do is love you,
soon as my eyes were shut boo, I had a dream I fucked you'
and then she smiled miss mary Jane, took a hit watch the cherry flame
passed it back to me and said 'I ain't even playing
but baby boy I feel the same, I feel the same' *

Got out of bed put my socks on, I forgot you lived on the top floor
I'm surprised it doesn't cost more, you took me to the balcony and smiled at my dropped jaw, then asked me if I wanted breakfast
you had my favorite shit on your check list
fresh pancakes and eggs with, red peppers and a beverage
green tea was selected
then you threw on a Raphael Saadiq track
on your magic carpet is where we sat
like princess jasmine and the street rat
you put your plate down and asked 'you gonna eat that'
always a joker, beauty as I behold her
and after we finished, we was cooling on the sofa
with some hot mocha, leaned her head on my shoulder
I leaned a little closer and I told her

'I really don't know what we up to, but all I wanna do is love you,
soon as my eyes were shut boo, I had a dream about you'
and then she laughed and lit some mary jane
whats so funny she could hear me saying
passed it to me and said 'I ain't even playing
but when I closed my eyes boy I had the same
I had the same'
'I really don't know what we up to, but all I wanna do is touch you,
soon as my eyes were shut dude, I had a dream I fucked you'
and then I smiled at miss mary Jane, took a hit, watch the cherry flame
passed it back to her and said 'I ain't even playing
but when I closed my eyes girl I had the same *
Track Name: Azul (&JulietIsYou)
I'm trying to steal you away to somewhere private
indoor island, access provided
complex songstress, sing me a lulla
by under cover, you's a fly younger lover
it's three squared cloud magic, I'm a proud addict
u making my heart pound frantic, borderline panic
but that's how it's supposed to be
I'm reading closely, your body language and poetry
Affecting my senses like dopamine, I over lean
over your shoulder queen, witness the Jehovah scene
knocking at your door in between those jeans
hoping for an opening

Come now, it’s no secret that I want that
moving like that gypsy Esmeralda from the hunchback
of Notre Dame, you can call upon
God above when I put it on
you baby, smooth
u see a secret is a secret
only if u can keep it
and that booty better than that shit them pirates
be finding below the beaches, your touch got me speechless
biting into your lips like a Reeses
peanut butter cup, hit another blunt
and blow that thick shit
I’m talking smoke girl, you think sick
lol - li -pop flavored lipstick
I remember that you used to drive stick-shift
hope you don’t mind if I cuff you where your wrist is
baby blue was her favorite color
sky high she would get me, I had no greater lover..
Track Name: Eve
Staring out at the horizon,
watching the moon start rising, I feel a breeze kiss my skin
I just got out the shower, fifth minute, eleventh hour
all of a sudden my whole place lost power
what now..I'm home alone,
really don't need this kinda stress on my dome
thinking I should probably get stoned, but then I hear my phone
I Used To Love H.E.R. was your ringtone
she asked if I'd come over for a bit,
it's dark, she lonely and rather have company with
said she had plenty of weed that we could hit
plus I got some gin and tonic if she wanna take a sip
I hung up, dying battery
plus I knew my girl would be mad at me
if she couldn't get in touch, but I'm caught up in some lust
heading to your floor in a rush

tempt me, I'll give in,
they say the best fruit is forbidden
no regard for the height of the stakes
or the lies we embrace while you riding my face
tempt me, sweet sinning
kiss gently when you caught up in my linen
no regard for the rules that we break
what a foolish mistake
painting rouge on your face

she lived on floor 23
standing in front of her door waiting for me
and I could tell she had been smoking
marijuana on her breath with her shirt half open
she smiled when she saw the gin,
i'm feeling like Adam about to commit original sin
then she, invited me in,
lets deal with the preliminary shit 'fore we begin
so, roll me a fat one, set the mood right
few candles, plus moonlight
went to the kitchen and grabbed a couple glasses
came back, lit the blunt up then passed it
she was old school, only used matches
kissed me on the lips then exhaled the gasses
into my lungs, she was definitely sprung
son of a gun, baby I'ma make you c-

And so we start gently, I'm biting where her neck be
and she says without being hesitant
'undress me, caress me, sex me'
I'm giving her body epilepsy
I went down took her higher,
kissed on her kitty, she was singing like Mariah
legs around my neck, I grabbed her chest
felt her heave, she was running outta breath
then I took her by the hair, and backed up that rear
smashed it till she came clear
and then we did it in the kitchen, on the counter
on the carpet, fxcking everywhere in her apartment
wasted but we paced it
passed out naked, lying face to face kid
and had a dream that we were never leaving
spending eternity in the garden of Eden
Track Name: Jane
"je t'aime"

She hardcore like ebonics
and majority of the time the friendship was primarily platonic
I read you like an Orwell comic
1984, the year she was born in the Bahamas
Classic, like a mellow song from The Renaissance
playing on a phonograph resonance
Sweet nothings in the early morn, word is bond
you my Corazón, hella yawns, playing Dilla Jawns
Mirror, Mirror in ya eyes, you the fairest under the skies
I'm obliged to kiss you right between the thighs
Your style sublime, fly designs
you got my mind reclined, from 6 - 9
Fine, like a line that you draw in the sand, in the shape of a heart
while you holding my hand
fingers like a grand piano
Black, she white, slash mulatto
singing love songs in soprano
Track Name: Internal Affairs
We was balcony sitting
talking bout knowledge and religion
power and submission,
spending hours listening
to one another, she was sweet as a motherfucka
especially when we was on the up and under
each other, our shit was deep cover
she be discreetly sneaking and creeping to meet a brother
burning through my sheets in degrees that beat summer
she would scratch my back like lightning and scream thunder
my seventh wonder, and yo I bet you heaven brung her
And man I feel like she the thing before the second number
but yo I got a woman already, and this is building up steady
and sooner the whole thing gon be bursting through the levee
my angel telling me karma will get me
my devil said just bite into the apple when you ready
I know my actions are irrational
I'm not really used to juggling with two separate hearts
while i'm swinging a machete
but yo she deadly as Ox in Belly,
sending me pictures of her titties right on my celly
listening to Andrea Bochelli, rocking on me missionary
I’m moaning Jane, while she blowing Mary

and I find myself.
willing hypnotized, stimulating your thighs
maybe I'm a little crazy but you made me realize
that I'm addicted to your eyes
and the way that you crack a smile
when I'm making your body cry
making your body rain, showers and pantie stains
you gladly came, specialize in naughty games
where the winner gets to be king, and the loser is probably chained
affairs of me and the lovely Jane

semi-circular baggage under my eyelid
nights at the apartment are sleepless when we're in private
especially when your legs are parted under your garments
the sun's coming up we wondering where the dark went
consumed by the smell of perfume, when I was back in her room
it was magic in bloom, sex on the moon
now I'm sitting at home, deleting shit on my phone
the messages you may have left that woulda had my cover blown
if my other woulda known, she'd have shot a brother dome
that's word to your mother and other people you got at home
cause she love me hard, and I'm in an ugly spot
torn between decisions one is really all we got
and on the one hand we have history
cause you was always a mystery,
but still nothing less than the shit to me
but she's always held me down
and I'm creeping while she's living outta town
I know how it sounds,
look I never wanted to be that nigga that would be cheating
but sometimes, a man will find himself weaken
under the spell of another lover forbidden
imprisoned as a victim of a vixen

Track Name: Black Saint and The Sinner Lady
See the thing about women is they surprise you
especially if they have a history of being lied to
I never thought that she would be dropping by unannounced
plus she had a separate pair of keys to my house
semester had finished early so she wanted to come visit
but she never told me shit, she felt it should be a secret
cause secretly she happened to be suspicious
driving here in a civic while i'm in the midst of business with my mistress,
this is

exactly what the preachers'll tell you will happen
you play with fire boy you'll probably need that skin graph
and minimal traffic on the highway, a little bit of light rain
she's playing Usher and driving my way
meanwhile I'm about to touch her, foreplay then fuck her
yeah Jane my lover, what luck
that you would be coming at that exact minute
while I'm tapping it, catching me like a rat that was trapped in it
g*ddammit, you left around 5:00, it's 11:45
and it was only a seven hour drive
until you arrived, knowledge I had been deprived
I thought you were far away at the college you applied
not knowing you were already standing inside
looking around for me and then you heard a faint cry
so imagine my surprise, when I'm all up in her tide
and I hear my bed room door slide...
Track Name: Anubis
When you really hurt somebody, the situation is never pretty
and the way you found out what a pity,
you walked in while we was undressed,
I searched for the words but I had nothing left
she staring at me, you staring at her, I'm staring at you
it's like you took the sound out the room
your mouth starts to move, you call me a piece of cow manure
rain's coming down in a downpour
you left out the door made a swift exit
she telling me that I shouldn't stress shit
that it was for the best and she was my next chick
but I jumped outta bed real hectic
and I guess I had it coming, but I didn't think that it would happen
didn't realize it back then
when I was busy getting action
but the thing about an action is that it always has a reaction
all because of a fatal attraction
now you ain't gonna ever let me back in
you were getting away I had to move it
threw on my clothes and shoes quick
and I thought of saying sorry but and apology would be useless
the fact is I was on my Judas
while you was on some 'till death do us'
she found out what the truth is in the mid of Kama Sutras

**remember all the promises you made
and how easily they fade
and all the different games that you played
did you think you wouldn't pay?
everybody's got numbered days
and this is yours, the moment is too late
did you think you'd get away?
you made your bed now you lay ..(2)

She at the elevator, and I yell tell her wait up
she said 'nigga you a muhfucking player'
her eyes waterfall it was fucking up her make-up
she couldn't look at me I didn't have a prayer
I couldn't even say a damn word
I tried to explain but I sounded absurd
realize I made her re-live her past hurt
she gave me a slap first, then called me a bastard
said 'fall backward, and don't touch me
all of the times you said that you loved me, put no one above me
and then I find she's been keeping you company
you fucking disgust me,
yo so don't call and don't text me, I don't wanna see you
we through, tell ya moms and ya peoples'
the elevator opened and she walked in
and the next time I saw her it was in a coffin


And this is the moral of the tale told
it's a dangerous game being unfaithful
so I'ma try to be explicit, see she had gotten back to her civic
and unlocked the door, threw her bag in the back
breathing like she having an asthma attack
trying to get that image out her head
started her car and away she sped
away she drove, down the lone road
weather looking like Ororo Munroe
saw a lightning strike hit a telephone pole
fall on the road and that's when she lost control
Track Name: Black Magic Woman (Bonus Track)
Black magic woman. frozen in poses up in my room with
no clothes, cept the light of the moon and
you slow pole dancing, the movement in ya body so elusive
reminds me of a girl I went to school with
switch it up, I always wanted a stripper to take pictures of
It's "non-smoking" but we couldn't really give a fuck
lay on your back, purse your lips and take a deeper puff
I'll get above, show me where to stick my fingers up..

Vogue, strike a pose, Vie en Rose
talking that dirty talk but you speaking beyond prose
and we beyond clothes, dark neon glows
and every move you make you keeping me on toes
the star of the show, flash one, flash two
show me what that ass do while I camera snap you
and ya tattoo, all up in the back room
while you tell me what you want me to put that pussy cat through

U said, you like the way my lips sound on your flesh
especially when our mouths intersect
she sorta got this pounce in her step
bounce like automatic round in a tec
begging me to tie her hands up
how do you want it, rope or handcuffs
do me a favor and you just might make bail
but in my jail, it's fifty shades of greyscale